Awhile ago when we got new nametags, we were encouraged to include our preferred pronouns (she/her/hers; he/him/his; they/their/theirs). I didn't want to, so didn't. In the past few days, I've been able to articulate more about this. My initial post about my thoughts is at:
https://quakerlibn.blogspot.com/2015/03/my-androgynous-journey.html.
I definitely don't feel male, yet not totally female either, and not plural. Not cisgender or transgender. Identifying as androgynous, liking the pronouns per, per, pers (as in person), where does that leave me? It seems like when groups are trying to learn, being taught by transgender folks, there isn't always as much breathing space for people who, like me, don't really have a set of pronouns they use.
I've been told there are a lot of conversations in the online world about this but I haven't seen them.
Today I chose to annotate one of my email signature files with "we, our, ours" pronouns. Feels ok. Will see how it goes. (Note: lasted one day.)
4/1/19
I've still been struggling with the pronoun thing - I use "I/me/my" to refer to myself. When people address me, I expect "you, your, yours" unless you are a Plain Quaker, and then I listen for "thee, thy, thine." When we're discussing something, I hope for "we, our, ours." I don't feel plural "they, them, theirs," but I don't constantly think of gender either. I often think of myself as other, in-between but singular - androgynous - in my roles. If I want to direct how people refer to me when I can hear them (because I really don't care when I don't know), I'm ok with "she, her, hers" although the abbreviation for person works "per, per, pers" too. I wanted to make it clear that it isn't easy, cut-and-dried, for many of us, and the constant question about how I want others to refer to me is more bothersome.
Futher conversation welcome, here or elsewhere.
https://quakerlibn.blogspot.com/2015/03/my-androgynous-journey.html.
I definitely don't feel male, yet not totally female either, and not plural. Not cisgender or transgender. Identifying as androgynous, liking the pronouns per, per, pers (as in person), where does that leave me? It seems like when groups are trying to learn, being taught by transgender folks, there isn't always as much breathing space for people who, like me, don't really have a set of pronouns they use.
I've been told there are a lot of conversations in the online world about this but I haven't seen them.
Today I chose to annotate one of my email signature files with "we, our, ours" pronouns. Feels ok. Will see how it goes. (Note: lasted one day.)
4/1/19
I've still been struggling with the pronoun thing - I use "I/me/my" to refer to myself. When people address me, I expect "you, your, yours" unless you are a Plain Quaker, and then I listen for "thee, thy, thine." When we're discussing something, I hope for "we, our, ours." I don't feel plural "they, them, theirs," but I don't constantly think of gender either. I often think of myself as other, in-between but singular - androgynous - in my roles. If I want to direct how people refer to me when I can hear them (because I really don't care when I don't know), I'm ok with "she, her, hers" although the abbreviation for person works "per, per, pers" too. I wanted to make it clear that it isn't easy, cut-and-dried, for many of us, and the constant question about how I want others to refer to me is more bothersome.
Futher conversation welcome, here or elsewhere.
1 comment:
You are my beloved person, always and all ways.
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