Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Love as a discipline

These passages seem particularly relevant to me lately, speaking to my heart, especially in view of recent events. "Love must be a kind of discipline. If we love only with our feelings, we're sunk--we may feel love one day and something quite other the next. ... I realized I must learn to love with my will, not my feelings. ... And so I enjoyed the warm feelings, the stuff of the heart, when it was present between us, as it sometimes was, ... And when it wasn't, there was the will to love, something like...a generator kicking in, a backup. ... Wounded people use a lot of smoke and mirrors, they thrust the bitterness and rage out there like a shield. Then it becomes their banner, and finally, their weapon. But I stopped falling for the bitterness and rage. I didn't stop knowing it was there--and there for a very good reason--but I stopped taking the bullet for it. With God's help, I was able to start seeing through the smoke. ... It's all in increments.... Healing came as little drops of water, and never the mighty ocean when you need it.... There's no way to deal with their suffering, except through love. ... Trust that, believe that, as hard as it is to believe right now. Act as if it were true, it can change things. ... Go in where there's common ground. Do whatever you can to find common ground, and if you do nothing more, forgive...and pray.... Whenever she [substitute the other pronoun if needed] lashes out, whenever she draws away, pray and forgive, forgive and pray." Karon, Jan. In the Company of Others. NY: Viking, 2010. 239-241.

Bring your whole self to Meeting:

If you are struggling with anger, bring that to Friends meeting for worship, and engage with your issues and God while surrounded by Friends. What safer place to do so? Since one of the qualities we value is integrity, we feel that one can be angry and still be Quaker. I'm certainly angry fairly often...and who fails to be in an unjust world, surrounded by narcissism and greed? If you feel unworthy, bring that too. We also value equality--God values all of us, and so do we also try to love our neighbors as ourselves. Who feels worthy, or deserving? (oh, those previously-mentioned narcissists!) Yet we are all equally worthy of God's love and the love of our neighbors. Bring your whole self to Friends meeting for worship.

No comments: