What to do when the rules do not let you recuse yourself for conflict of interest?
My wife conducted herself gracefully in a difficult situation...she kept her calm, stuck to her plan, answered hard questions without a tremor in her voice, and accepted compliments graciously. I am so proud. She kept her dignity and acted with integrity. She is a good cataloger, a good librarian... she looks at and understands the big picture: librarians are educators. What she does is to make resources accessible (findable), balancing the restraints of time and energy against perfectionism. She finds ways to decrease the labor of her colleagues. She educates herself so as to be better at her specialty. She constantly consults colleagues in other libraries in order to make the best decisions possible for our situation. She admits her mistakes and tries hard to make things right with other people.
My sense of integrity feels tired and battered. I was present to support my wife; I did my best. Now I hope to find some sense of peace and forgiveness, but I tell you: the heavy bag took a hard beating last night. Yet I feel right about my decision.